To love is to place our happiness in the happiness of another.

Withdrawing Away From You

2006-12-09T21:14:00.000+08:00

A fascinating scenario that I want you guys to read and ponder about. Tell me if it sounds at all familiar...

You are dating this man, and he treats you unbelievably well. You share intense CHEMISTRY with him that you cannot recall sharing such a similar feeling with anyone before.

You think about him more than you'd like to admit... and you quickly go from hardly knowing him, to feeling like you've known him all your life. You're amazed that the more you get to know him... the more great things you see and find out about him.

And as time goes on, you can't believe he's becoming even MORE LOVING, MORE CARING, and MORE AFFECTIONATE. It's like he's THE OPPOSITE of the men you've dated in the past. He's open and loving. He doesn't have any "hang-ups". He doesn't act RESISTANT when it comes to sharing love and affection, or talking about the future. And he doesn't show the FEAR OF COMMITMENT other men do that gets in the way of growing a real and lasting relationship.

But somewhere in the back of your mind,you can't help but wonder... "Is this too good to be true?" And as much as you'd like to play it safe, you can't and it's too late. You've already fallen in love with him. And he's fallen in love with you. And before you know it, you're both saying "I love you" at the end of each conversation you have.

Soon you're spending so much time together that you decide to take a big step and move in together. At first, living together is great and your relationship is better than ever. You're both excited to be together and to spend each night in each other's arms. But just when you feel like this could be the one special relationship that will be truly secure and lasting... something suddenly "shifts".

The casual, easy-going, affectionate way you and the man in your life had with each other disappears. He stops talking to you the way he used to. He stops sharing his feelings with you. And your intuition tells you that, for some reason, his feelings have changed. All of a sudden he's DISTANT. All of a sudden he acts irritable and explodes for no reason when you try and talk to him about your relationship or your feelings. All of a sudden he seems more interested in his work, or hanging out with his friends, than spending time with you.

At first you think the change you're seeing is just part of your imagination. Or that you're just being paranoid. But you notice that he really has stopped saying "I love you" and being affectionate with you. In fact, the only time you hear him say"I love you" anymore is after you say it to him and he responds back.

The nail in the coffin is when you realize that he's even stopped initiating things with you physically. And when you drop hints with him that you'd like to be intimate, or you put yourself out there and initiate something... he doesn't respond.

Ouch! When did men become the ones who are "too tired" for sex... or just aren't in the mood? It's then that you realize that something must be seriously wrong. And you know that if you don't do something, and talk to him, that your relationship is going to keep slipping away into nothingness.

Ok, end of story.

-------------------------------------

For the sake of the relationship, and to try and be supportive and patient, you decide not to say anything about how his behavior has changed and is keeping you apart... But you can only hold it in so long. You try and cheer him up, or plan things for you both to do that will be fun, romantic,and get you back to feeling the way you used to feel around each other. But he shows little or no interest in the ideas you come up with... and he doesn't take part in planning or doing things with you.

Even though you're trying to "be cool"and stay calm, your feelings and frustrations start to build, and they start to slip out at unexpected times. You feel like you're holding the relationship together all on your own.

And you start to find yourself getting really upset with him for things like forgetting to take out the trash... when the truth is that you're just plain tired and fed up with how he's acting and the distance between you. You'd be willing to take out the trash yourself, along with all the 100 other things you're doing all by yourself to keep your life and your house together... if he'd just "wake up" and start participating in your relationship.

But he doesn't start to open up to you,no matter how much you do to make your lives better or easier... and no matter how much you try and reconnect with him. With all this going on, eventually you EXPLODE EMOTIONALLY and it all comes out. But instead of it bringing you closer and fixing the problems that have been going on... he doesn't listen to you, or try to understand all that you've been trying to do to carry the relationship while he's been "uninvolved".

In fact, he TURNS AGAINST YOU when you try and get him to understand how you feel and everything you've been doing. And he acts as though he doesn't even like being around you because you "nag him" all the time. It seems like there's nothing you can do to make him happy.

Part of the secret to having a man who wants to be physically and emotionally committed with you in a long-term relationship is understanding how the COMMITMENT PROCESS works for HIM. There are times when a man is going to actless "engaged", or tell you he might want his "freedom"... and if you don't know why he's doing this, what it means, and you get freaked out byit and end up putting more distance between you,you're going to painfully regret it.

------------------------------------

But can you imagine, if a guy that you are with, for a long time, tells you one day that his love for you is not as strong as before, for you have lied to him before? Will you still continue being with him? Knowing that he still loves you abit and that you would try to make things work between the two of you????

What....???

2006-12-05T00:42:00.000+08:00

What if a guy tells you that he likes you? But you arent ready to step into a new relationship with him? Fearing that it may be a rebound relationship... Even though you know you no longer have any feelings for your ex? Or that you think that you cant stand being lonely and you may go into this new relationship with the guy?

Thats a wrong reason to get attached! No way you can do that!

But what if he tells you that he is attracted to you and wants to know you better? And you fear that you will start developing feelings for him? You were scarred before, recently hurt somemore. You daren't step into another relationship for fear of having your heart broken....

What would you do???

What if the guy does not make much moves to express his feelings for you? If he starts being passive in the sense that he is not as agressive as before? What if you think he is nice and may want to know him better but irks always having to be the one who asks him out? Since he thinks that you are always so busy and dares not ask you out? (Is he a coward or not being pro-active enough??)

And what if... What if..... What if I am the one that the guy so-called likes?

What should I do?

I would simply tell myself...

"My dear Feliza... You have a loooong way to go.

Open your farking eyes big and look for the one that matches you most and is able to accomodate to your set of thinking and lifestyle.

Don't settle for the Mr Nice Guy.

There's not only ONE Mr Nice Guy in the world.

If God loves you and thinks you deserve a good guy....

You will meet another Mr Nice Guy in future.

So for now, think before you act on anything.

Dun let loneliness, envy, lack of security and care to tempt you!

Don't get swayed by mushy words and loving acts!

You know the guys do that to woo you...

And they stop once they get you....

Don't let them have this chance to do that to you.

For you are Feliza the GREAT!!!

Lonely Love

2006-12-03T13:50:00.000+08:00

Last night it was another trip again to Momo for clubbing with the rest. Stepping into the dance floor alone is pretty normal to me. I like to dance by myself and be fused together with the music. Sometimes, I will simply sway my body to the music while closing my eyes.

But its funny, how different I felt last night? Was it the feeling of loneliness? You may wonder out loud - Lonely in a club though having a bunch of friends?

I saw couples at the dance floor - hugging and dancing intimately. Its the envious feeling. I long so much for the one to hug me. All around me were couples doing that on the dance floor. It made me to leave the dance floor and walk back to the table.

Am I suffering from the 'being alone and apart' syndrome? I have to admit it affected my mood abit. Can you imagine that I could be sitting on the sofa by myself, whilst watching my friends making merry? It was that lonely feeling that I had, despite having a big group of friends around. Not that we ain't talking. But its simply that feeling.

How I long to be hugged tightly and to be kissed passionately by someone I feel so real for.

Discovering Love

2006-11-30T00:40:00.000+08:00

Have you ever been in love? I have. I am certainly not referring to the 'I-am-so-crazy-for-him-that-I-have-to-call-him-100-times-a-day' sort of girlfriend. NOT that kind of love for sure. Tsk.

I am talking about the sort of love where your Man and you can connect and feel for one another at a deep level that is being shared in all the intense and most generous ways that you can ever imagine.

Man has commitment problems/probia. How do you actually make him share his affection and have deeper feelings for you?

The reality is, not many have the real-world idea of how love is encouraged, begins, evolves, and sometimes fades away. We only understand how it makes us feel and that we simply want it.

We want love. We yearn for it. We hope for it.

As cynical as it can get, I feel that most people react to the other person in their love life is more like an "emotional stop light" than anything else. As in?

Stop. (red)

Slow down or speed up. (yellow)

Go. (green)

To all my readers, please be clear that this is not how our feelings and emotions are wired. When it comes to those love issues, it simply has a complex effect on our minds and bodies. But there's a whole lot more of it that you have to individually discover by yourself and probably develop self-actualization.

Take time to discover what love is to our minds and bodies. Gals! Go find out how men perceive and experience love. In this way, your odds of success for happiness and fulfillment will be doubled!

Sometimes, we really have to sit down, lie back, and think through things. There is nothing good about rushing into doing something, and ended up regretting your own actions.

Rebound Relationships

2006-11-27T22:56:00.000+08:00

After the breakup with the guy/gal that you love, you enter into a rebound relationship to put a band aid to your own misery. That is absolutely wrong. To me, it is deemed as a selfish act. If you do that, you ought to be condemned, my dear girls and guys.

You are merely hurting your new partner. Can you imagine if he/she knows that you are simply taking him/her as a replacement to your ex-lover? Do you know the extent of hurt that you will be inputing in him/her? Have you wondered how crashing it will be for his/her self-confidence level?

Just for your own benefit, just to ease yourself from the pain... You start to get involved with someone new?? Take note: It is counterproductive. This means that the new lover will not be able to do magic and make all your pain disappear. He/she can soothe it for you till you are completing your 'emotional recovery process' or are completely healed from the heartache. And by then, you will have a new problem - What to do with this guy/girl that you have just gotten involved with?

Rebound relationships hardly last long. So my dear readers, please be careful to step into a relationship with someone that you know he/she had just broken off with his/her Special One. You never know the real reason to the breakup. The gal may be the one that initiated the breakup, but she may stepped into a rebound relationship so that she can forget her boyfriend. Even if it is a mutual agreement for a breakup, there are chances that one party (or both even!) may get into a rebound relationship.

So don't be that selfish bitch or asshole. Don't make your unhappiness to somebody else's unhappiness. Live your own life as it is. Don't make the lives of others worse, just because you ain't having a good time after a break-up. Instead, try to wake up from the break-up and prove yourself worthy... No point being self-deluded.

Don't say that my words are harsh. In this blog, I will say nothing but my utmost honest opinions. Flame me all you want, I don't care.

Attraction

2006-11-26T21:04:00.000+08:00

Title: Attraction

Mood: Longing For Some1

A lot of women seem to think that ATTRACTION is when one person wants what another person has. Some think of ATTRACTION as the result of being good-looking or otherwise "attractive". In fact, I think alot of people confuse ATTRACTION with"being attractive".

When the concept of ATTRACTION comes intro my mind, I thought of it as an EMOTION. In other words, ATTRACTION is a FEELING that we either feel, or we don't. And there's not much of anything at all in between when it comes to a man being at a place where he's ready to be open, loving and COMMITTED with a woman... long term.

It seems to me that attraction is actually more of a COMBINATION of powerful experiences and beliefs that come together to form a very, very special and all powerful SUPER-EMOTION. However you think about it, there is a process that happens between men and women that keeps them connecting - to get together both physically and emotionally in relationships.

'I mean really, the human form can be beautiful in so many different ways, I just don't see a need to limit my attraction to that beauty.' -unknown

Thoughts of Love

2006-11-26T19:33:00.000+08:00

Title: Thoughts Of Love

Mood: Excited

- True Love -

Simple word that is difficult to be obtained by many.

By reading this blog created by Feliza Ong, you will be brought onto a journey. This journey will take you into her mind and heart, where Feliza will reveal her thoughts and views on anything pertaining to LOVE. Her fragile self will be shown to her readers. Don't break her heart.

- Love makes or breaks a person -

What do you want it to do to YOU...

And your LIFE?